Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey

It was just past noon, and there I was, innocently minding my own business and enjoying a quick bite to eat, when two flies suddenly decided to land on the hood of my Jeep.  I watched for a few moments as they gracefully danced around one another, before eventually losing interest and refocusing back on my lunch.

Several bites later, I looked up once more, surprised to find those same two flies still there.  I watched intently, and before long, noticed a change in their demeanour, that once playful look in their eyes, having now turned to lust.  They moved slowly, but deliberately closer together.  One male, one female, their intentions became quite clear.

The sunlight glistening off their naked bodies, the seductive dance continuing a few moments longer until slowly, ever so slowly, they embraced, wrapping their legs around one another.  Their bodies pressed together, she caressed her chest against his, his hands wandering to wondrous places, exploring her body, their wings fluttering in ecstasy, as two became one.  The male momentarily pulled away, then re-embraced her, this time mounting her from behind, and with that, began thrusting, plunging his tiny fly penis deep inside of her.

I looked to my left, then to my right, wanting to see if anyone else was witnessing this public display of insectual intercourse.  Am I being rude?  Should I look away?  Unsure of the protocol, I decided to turn on my radio.  To my great delight, the radio was already set to the special month-long Dave Matthews Band channel on Sirius.  I couldn’t make this up if I tried, but wouldn’t you know it, the song being played at the time was “Loving Wings” (not the full band version either, I’m talking about the more intimate Dave Matthews solo version from the Benaroya Hall show).  Seemingly appropriate, I reached over, and turned up the volume.

I give to you my everything, You’ve given me these loving wings…”, I listened to the tender melody, gently whispering the words inside my head, and as I ate my the rest of my lunch, watched these two flies going at it doggy-style on the hood of my Jeep.

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